My Story - for those of you with whom I have lost touch

Whoa.  I am still in a state of shock, I think.  I just found out that I got accepted to California Polytechnic University.  It's an excellent architecture and engineering school.  Ten years ago I graduated high school one semester early.  I took a semester off and then entered Iowa State with everyone else my age.  I thought I knew then what I was meant to do.  I found a great college ministry.  Praise God for Salt Company.  I thought I knew about God before that, but I got my real foundation from the ministry of Cornerstone Church and the college group The Salt Company.  

I didn't realize that when my parents chose to get divorced right before my sophomore year of college that it would drastically change the direction I was headed.  Who knew that their divorce would wreak such havoc in my life.  Anyone who says that divorce of a couple with older children is much easier on the kids is absolutely insane.  I think I would have handled it much better as a young child because I know that children are resilient.  Anyway, I couldn't hang with the school thing, my grandpa had just died and my parents had separated.  Needless to say, I isolated pretty hardcore.  And I felt like I had no one.  I turned to the only thing I could think of that would ease the hurt and the pain.  This is a pretty intensely honest post here.  If you don't know me all that well, this may surprise you.  I got stuck in the world of daily pot smoking and alcohol binging thinking it would end the sufferring.  Boy was I wrong.  I gave in to the pressures of young adulthood and lost miserably.

Right after I turned 21, while living with my mom and her boyfriend at the time, I decided to start dating this guy who was soooo cute.  ugh. the thought makes we want to yak all over my computer.  Anyway, 3 months later I ended up pregnant and realized I had made a huge mistake by dating this guy.  He was not someone I wanted to raise my child with.  After much prayer - since God was the only place left for me to turn at this point - I decided to move to California and start fresh.  Leaving the old me behind.  Chase was 6 months old when we made the three day trip out here.  It was quite exciting!  But I moved here with me, which means that my weakness for substances followed me.   After about 4 months of complete delusion and selfishness I realized I had a real problem and put myself in a detox center.  Best decision of my life!  I have been clean and sober for 5 years this March 2.  I can't believe it.  And my life is amazing.  I will never go down that path again.  That is true misery.  

I don't really know what possessed me to post this, but I felt the need to share some honesty with you all.  I hope that maybe my story can help someone else some day.  God doesn't allow for things to happen for no reason.  I know that none of that was His plan for me.  But I also know that it was only 50% for me to learn something and 50% to teach others.  God uses every story to His glory.  That is the coolest part about the whole thing!  

He was the only one who could really make me whole.  I am truly blessed in this life, but I know that the future life I will have will be eternally wonderful!